"Breast is best."
I am sick and tired of that phrase.
Medication taken by the mother leeches through breast milk. There have been some studies regarding certain medications but for those taking medications without a definitive 'yes' or 'no' answer to the safety question, there is a hard choice to make: do I potentially make my child a statistic because we all know "breast is best" or do I decide that the risks are not worth it and simply formula-feed?
When I first discovered I was pregnant, I was determined that I would stay off of my medication for the entirety of the pregnancy and for the first six months after so that I could breastfeed--six months isn't two years but it's a decent compromise. After a month of hypomanic and depressive swings where I simply could not function for days, I know I am going to have to go back onto my Abilify as soon as my son is born if I want to be able to take care of him.
Abilify is an atypical antipsychotic and has not had any study cases so far. The drug information included in its insert warns against breastfeeding. I've talked with my psychiatrist about switching to other medications but we don't know how I would react--Abilify was the first medicine we tried and it worked beautifully. We are both hesitant to start from the beginning when I will have a young life that is dependent on a mostly-functioning mommy.
Could I live with myself if I were to stubbornly declare "breast is best", nurse my son, and the medication have a negative impact on him?
No, no I could not.
I was raised on formula. My siblings were all raised on formula. My sister breastfed for a few months before switching to formula. We all turned out pretty well. Sure, formula is not as perfect as breast milk but you know what? I'm not ever going to be a perfect parent and the list of things I do or get 'wrong' is going to be much longer than 'failed to breastfeed'.
The problem is that finding resources on formula is like pulling teeth and the few times that I have found a good resource, the comments are filled with hateful spew from the 'breast is best' crowd. I'm tired of that ignorant, one-size-fits-all crowd making me feel like a terrible mother when my son hasn't even been born yet. Who are you to judge anyone? Raise your own damned child(ren) and leave me and mine alone.
Rather than "breast is best", we should lean more toward the old addage "mother knows best". I know it is better for me to give my son formula so that I can take my medication and care for him. I know that others who have a stronger support system will be able to go without their medication so that they can breastfeed and that still others will decide that the benefits of breastfeeding outweigh the unknowns of taking medication.
What makes a good mother is that she decides what is best for her and her child(ren). If that means formula, so be it. I raise my bottle to you.
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